Being an Adult Sucks

Some people may be surprised that I’m writing about this, because I’m only 21 and don’t have much life experience. But I’ve recently had a situation that has shown me who exactly is the adult in most of my relationships. It sure says a lot about someone who is given a full apology and would rather simply discontinue contact than acknowledge any efforts from the other person to make the situation better.

I recently left a local ghost hunting group for a multitude of reasons. I won’t really explain why right now, because that’s not really important. A lot of people who read this blog already know why. But the thing I’d like to focus on is that while I don’t believe I did anything inherently wrong, I still fixed what I did. When it was explained to me why others thought this was inappropriate of me, I understood everything they were trying to tell me, 100%. I admitted that I messed up. I apologized for everything. I apologized if I was rude on the phone. I apologized for doing it in the first place. I apologized for not asking permission. Hell, I apologized for being stumbling and stuttering my words.

Not one apology was acknowledged or appreciated. No matter how differently I phrased it, I got the ‘I have much better things to do with my time’ attitude. I finally just took my bag and left.

I have been trying so hard to not say anything mean on Facebook, because I don’t feel that is necessary. However, I don’t feel obligated to lie and say the reasons I left were all sunshine and buttercups. I am in a lot of pain right now because I feel abused and betrayed. I can understand they also felt the same way, but the fact that I owned up and apologized and that didn’t make a difference incenses me to no end. The fact that I have been removed from one of their friend’s lists is also upsetting, especially because I was trying to go out of my way to help this woman further. This woman, by the way, is twice my age and has grandchildren. And yet, I’m the one who apologized, and she’s the one who sent that clear signal of “it’s over”.

I tried a cord-cutting exercise earlier today. I immediately felt lighter, less attached the situation, but I still  have a lot of leftover animosity. I’m trying to follow my Reiki principles – ‘just for today I will not be angry’ – but I think at this point I’m more hurt than anything. I am trying to let go. I am trying to move on. I am not trying to sound like a drama queen. I’m just not sure how I need to go forward from here.

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What I’m Reading

I’m going to start sharing books that I’m reading on a regular basis. As a self-identified librophile, I have a deep love for books; this includes reading, writing, and constantly looking for more. I have a tendency to purchase more books than I can read. I always carry a book with me. I got a Kindle for Christmas and although I love the actual, physical look and feel of a book, I am totally amped to be able to take a large selection of books with me wherever I go. I also appreciate the convenience of being able to discreetly read about perhaps controversial topics without displaying the book cover. So – welcome to my new segment!

With thousands of books at my fingertips, and the ability to download a free sample from literally every book available [as an eBook] on Amazon, I have been branching out into some new material. I bought a book called The Ghost Hunter’s Survival Guide: Protection Techniques for Encounters With The Paranormal by Michelle Belanger.  I checked out a few of the reviews, downloaded the sample and immediately bought the book. I am now halfway through the book and I thoroughly love it. Belanger has an extremely down-to-earth narrative style (although a bit technical at times). She opens the door to psychic protection by talking about a comic strip where a man is bringing an imaginary mongoose to his brother who is suffering hallucinations of imaginary snakes.

The basics of grounding, centering, and shielding have been covered, as one would expect in any basic psychic protection book. The interesting thing, however, is the length to which Belanger describes all of the intricacies related with the world of energy, combined with the variety of modalities she addresses. She has information and techniques for the skeptic who doesn’t believe in a higher power as well as including information from Tibetan monks, Christian priests, and even brings up Voodoo for a bit. She clearly knows what she’s talking about and presents the material in a clear, straightforward manner.

This is all in an attempt to create a manual for every ghost hunter, regardless of beliefs. I’m just over halfway through the book and I’d say she’s met that goal. I have always had a pretty natural understanding of how energy works (I can’t tell you how often I wrote stories as a kid about people who could manipulate the energy around them and how fluently I had everything thought out) so I haven’t necessarily learned anything new, so to speak.  But she put everything in a way that was easier for me to understand and I’ll borrow to explain things to people who don’t understand how the spirit world.

You should check out this book if;

  • you are interested in learning more about how the spirit world works
  • you feel like you might be psychic or wish you were psychic
  • you need to know anything about psychic protection, including protecting yourself, helping another protect themselves, and/or cleansing and protecting a home.
  • you are a ghost hunter and actively put yourself in ‘the fray’ with lingering spirits and energies
  • you are a hopeful skeptic about the spirit world
  • you have an extra $10 in your pocket.