I’ve moved!

Hey guys! I’ve been meaning to post here but I just haven’t gotten around to it.. until now.

I haven’t been posting here because I’ve moved over to my self-hosted blog, Spirit Guided Solutions. I’ve had some exciting new developments; be sure to check it out so you can stay up to date as I’m moving into an office and writing a book.

Hope to see you there!

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Don’t Take Anything Personally – Seriously

It’s a huge waste of energy to take anything very personally. Why? Because no one does very much for anyone other than themselves. And that’s not a bad thing, really! I mean it, I do it, too. It’s okay to donate to charity because it makes you feel better. It’s okay to indulge in weekly tarot readings for yourself, because you enjoy it. We live in a society where this is not only extremely commonplace, it’s a fact of life.

But something else that you should consider is that when you take things personally… you are, in effect, blocking your own future. Because you are centering your reactions around an external force, you are consciously giving up your power to another person. And why would you WANT to do that? Seriously, people, think about it.

This is talked about in depth in the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. It’s one of four key concepts he presents in this book.

Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

What he’s trying to tell you is that when people oppose you, it isn’t because they are judging your character, or your motives, or anything like that. They honestly don’t care. People are going to do what they want regardless of what you do. You have a choice – you can either sit and whine about it, make a big deal about it… or you can decide to trust yourself, to keep your power inside.

As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.

Ruiz isn’t telling us to live in our own bubble, or to avoid other people. He’s reminding us that we are just human, and that we should remember this about our fellow humans. We are all equally selfish in this aspect. He’s not telling us we can’t get angry about things that other people have done. He’s just saying, they didn’t mean to hurt you, and it’s a pretty poor way to spend time thinking that they did.

Blessings to you!

Your turn

So far this year I’ve talked about children & ghosts, your spirit guides, Reiki, bills, spirituality, accountability… and of course, tarot. But there’s another month left to go! What would you like to see me talk about? Scroll down to the comments section and let me know!

A dream come true

Earlier this week I visited my state capital and had the immense pleasure of attending an event with psychic-medium John Edward. I am very lucky that my mom is not only interested in the New Age and spiritual movement, but that she also has the inclination to buy tickets before asking me if I would like to go. The event sold out very quickly after it was first announced and I believe 600 people were in attendance Thursday night.

This type of event was what I believe is called a gallery reading, and was very similar to what I had seen on his show, Crossing Over. The stage provides a significant area for John to move around and scan the audience.  He introduced himself and described how his process works. There were a few instances where he could have been a bit clearer – for example, after he finished his opening spiel, he said he would take 4 questions from the audience. Those four people who had questions wanted to ask about relatives, when he was only answering questions about the process. As he felt compelled, John went to various sections of the audience to begin reading. The first people he read for were two rows behind us, directly at the end of the aisle. I believe there were two women and one man. John started by referencing a young male who had passed with a J name (he thought it was ‘Jack’ but the boy’s name was actually Zach). Throughout the process of the reading, it was revealed that Zach had died in a house fire, with the man, his father, blaming the boy’s mother for his death. Several other family members ‘came through’, and John described how even though the people you came with may not be related, you do have a social network on the other side, which enables the spirits to all make an appearance.

Now here’s where I don’t think that John has any information pre-given. During the time he was attempting to convey information to this family, the woman at the end of the aisle kept editorializing. This means that he would say ‘do you have an aunt or sister or close friend who passed with an A name who is related to February?’ and she would pause and think and say ‘I kinda have this friend who was born and died in February’, so John would ask for her name (which was an A name) and she very slowly acknowledged it. I don’t remember exactly what she said or what the information was, but the point was, she didn’t know what he was talking about and it didn’t appear that she was very coherent. At one point, after she had tried explaining one thing or another, John changed his posture on the stage and asked, “let me ask you this – do you think the rest of the audience cares? This sounds mean but I know everyone else is sitting here, wishing you would hurry up so we can move on and I can read someone else.” She beat around the bush and repeatedly did not appear to have been paying attention to what he was giving her, nor did their entire group seem very convinced of what was going on.

I think part of this stems from being a little on the spot, and a bit from being the first group John worked with. It’s totally understandable to be caught off-guard and to stammer your words a bit, but the way she spoke so slowly and deliberately made me feel like she was waiting and expecting something very specific. Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one that night who really dragged her feet. In fact, the event ran over by almost half an hour because John was trying to deliver a message to a woman who just wasn’t… I don’t even know how to describe her. John would say ‘it’s someone West of here – where are you from?’ and she replied with ‘the..city? I’m …from here’. He actively discourages people filling in the blanks with information. John does not want you to tell him anything about the sitter or the spirit besides ‘yes’ or ‘no’ unless he asks.

We had a fantastic time. I didn’t learn a lot (because this is my nerd hobby) but my mom and our cousin both learned a few things. John mentioned spirit guides, psychic protection, auric vision… he also talked to a few women about how they were fixers or healers, how they felt personally responsible for other people’s problems and wanted to fix them, and ultimately how this wasn’t very healthy. He also talked about the law of attraction with a woman who feared she has or is developing breast cancer. I have no words to express how grateful I was to be there, in the same room with him, as he gave readings… I have no words to convey how validating it was for me to hear the things he talked about and recognize that I already knew most of them, nor how validating it was to see that he and I conduct readings with a similar style. It was a priceless experience I won’t soon forget.

Reiki & Alzheimer’s

As an avid Reiki practitioner, I regularly search the internet for recent articles that talk about Reiki. Today I found one that talked about working with Alzheimer’s patients, and thought you might like to see what the article said. (source) Here’s the clip that talks about Reiki;

Many studies and clinical reports have shown the benefits of music with dementia patients, and some recent findings have demonstrated positive effects from therapies like reiki, which are designed to clear away stress and balance subtle energies. Therese Silva Johnson, a gerontologist and owner of a facility that treats many Alzheimer’s patients, began to provide reiki treatments at her facility. As she experimented with these treatments she noted that although the disease progressed, her patients did not suffer the usual level of symptoms of anxiety, agitation, pain, and physical discomfort. Pacing and wandering were drastically reduced. Paranoia began to subside. The mere laying on of hands allowed patients to become completely relaxed, more present, and lucid. Wounds healed in half the time with daily 5-10 minute Reiki treatments. Johnson found that even those patients who normally resisted different kinds of touch (bathing, dressing, grooming, etc.) welcomed and even asked for Reiki. Reiki can even be given as a long distance treatment for those with special needs as it does not require physical touch – it only requires a spiritual or energetic resonance connection. Therese developed a program for reiki therapy to be applied by caregivers, which can be found at www.reikimastertherese.com/TreatingAlzheimers.pdf

M. Deborah Salach at San Francisco State University found in her research, published in 2006, that reiki reduces depression & anxiety in Alzheimer’s dementia patients. Meanwhile, study authors Crawford, Leaver, & Mahoney found benefits of reiki provided to Alzheimer’s patients at a Native American Indian reservation in Maine, sharing their findings in the Journal of Complementary and Alternative Medicine in 2006. With patients and caregivers experiencing stress and emotional depletion, this type of therapy can help foster peace and harmony and replenish the energy of those addressing the everyday challenges of Alzheimer’s.

I’m aware that Reiki has helped me with my own issues, so I wasn’t surprised to see that other people are experiencing benefits from Reiki. I was, however, quite pleased to see the variety of situations the article addresses, especially the part where Alzheimer’s patients who didn’t typically like to be touched were asking for it. I downloaded the PDF and will be saving it for future reference, and I recommend you do the same if you are a Reiki practitioner. There is more great information and treatment advice in that 3 page document which makes it a fabulous freebie. It’s just one more reason I hope to someday offer Reiki in hospitals or health clinics.

I have returned!

Okay, only sort of.

I’m in the process of updating my blog a little bit – it really needs a good dusting since I haven’t touched it in at least six months. I have a new layout in the works, and I need to make a few tweaks to the settings, namely so that I get a notification when someone comments on a post. The good news is, I finally got a new computer, and it’s an iMac, so not only is it functional with minimal requirements for the user, it’s very shiny and cool and LOOKS cool to play with. Plus I invested in a netbook that I can take with me to blog on the go. It’s been going quite well, except I’m posting my best stuff on Tumblr, and I shouldn’t be. I have very much enjoyed my time on Tumblr, and it’s helped me connect with lots of people, but it’s just not an area where I can do a lot of core text-related posts. It’s very difficult for me to get feedback, to track views and users, and to keep track of everything else I have going on. I’ll still be using Tumblr so if you’d like to follow me, my url is constantine319.tumblr.com.

Other good news is that I undertook and completed all three levels of Usui Reiki training this summer. I’ve also broadened my tarot expertise just a smidge, and I’ve definitely done some more networking. And I’ve actually been using that Kindle of mine a bit more, too.  (For those of you who don’t know, I’m a bit of a bookaholic. Rearranging the apartment this summer yielded a hefty 200+ count of spiritual books, and quite the backache the day after.) So, I’ve got a few book reviews in the process that I can’t wait to share with you. Plus I’ve acquired a few new tools – crystals, a Tibetan singing bowl, a massage table, and some new oracle and tarot decks – that I’m excited to talk about, also.

A few more things I’d like to share – I’m currently taking classes with Alice Langholt of Reiki Awakening Academy. I found Alice’s blog shortly after I began exploring Reiki this past January, and recently inquired about her Energy Healing Certification Program. I’m three classes in and I had my first Practical Reiki attunement yesterday – I am really loving the journey so far. Everyone in the class is really cool, and I’m glad to be a part of a wide spectrum of ages and experience. Alice really knows what she’s talking about, and she has a very charming way of connecting you with the material. (I think that’s a Sagittarius thing.) There are a few more classes I’ve got my eye on. I really should have been sorted into Ravenclaw on Pottermore, because this thirst for knowledge is what’s kept me going the last few weeks. (PS! If you sign up for a class, tell them Jessica Bowman sent you! I get $10 towards the next class I want to take for referrals.) I also created a paranormal investigation group with a few of my friends. We’re in the process of setting up the website, designing the shirts and business cards, and getting the organization itself all established. It’s been a bit meticulous, but being so detail-oriented, I’ve actually enjoyed the process so far.

I think that wraps it up for now – blessings!

Being an Adult Sucks

Some people may be surprised that I’m writing about this, because I’m only 21 and don’t have much life experience. But I’ve recently had a situation that has shown me who exactly is the adult in most of my relationships. It sure says a lot about someone who is given a full apology and would rather simply discontinue contact than acknowledge any efforts from the other person to make the situation better.

I recently left a local ghost hunting group for a multitude of reasons. I won’t really explain why right now, because that’s not really important. A lot of people who read this blog already know why. But the thing I’d like to focus on is that while I don’t believe I did anything inherently wrong, I still fixed what I did. When it was explained to me why others thought this was inappropriate of me, I understood everything they were trying to tell me, 100%. I admitted that I messed up. I apologized for everything. I apologized if I was rude on the phone. I apologized for doing it in the first place. I apologized for not asking permission. Hell, I apologized for being stumbling and stuttering my words.

Not one apology was acknowledged or appreciated. No matter how differently I phrased it, I got the ‘I have much better things to do with my time’ attitude. I finally just took my bag and left.

I have been trying so hard to not say anything mean on Facebook, because I don’t feel that is necessary. However, I don’t feel obligated to lie and say the reasons I left were all sunshine and buttercups. I am in a lot of pain right now because I feel abused and betrayed. I can understand they also felt the same way, but the fact that I owned up and apologized and that didn’t make a difference incenses me to no end. The fact that I have been removed from one of their friend’s lists is also upsetting, especially because I was trying to go out of my way to help this woman further. This woman, by the way, is twice my age and has grandchildren. And yet, I’m the one who apologized, and she’s the one who sent that clear signal of “it’s over”.

I tried a cord-cutting exercise earlier today. I immediately felt lighter, less attached the situation, but I still  have a lot of leftover animosity. I’m trying to follow my Reiki principles – ‘just for today I will not be angry’ – but I think at this point I’m more hurt than anything. I am trying to let go. I am trying to move on. I am not trying to sound like a drama queen. I’m just not sure how I need to go forward from here.