It’s a huge waste of energy to take anything very personally. Why? Because no one does very much for anyone other than themselves. And that’s not a bad thing, really! I mean it, I do it, too. It’s okay to donate to charity because it makes you feel better. It’s okay to indulge in weekly tarot readings for yourself, because you enjoy it. We live in a society where this is not only extremely commonplace, it’s a fact of life.
But something else that you should consider is that when you take things personally… you are, in effect, blocking your own future. Because you are centering your reactions around an external force, you are consciously giving up your power to another person. And why would you WANT to do that? Seriously, people, think about it.
This is talked about in depth in the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. It’s one of four key concepts he presents in this book.
Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
What he’s trying to tell you is that when people oppose you, it isn’t because they are judging your character, or your motives, or anything like that. They honestly don’t care. People are going to do what they want regardless of what you do. You have a choice – you can either sit and whine about it, make a big deal about it… or you can decide to trust yourself, to keep your power inside.
As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.
Ruiz isn’t telling us to live in our own bubble, or to avoid other people. He’s reminding us that we are just human, and that we should remember this about our fellow humans. We are all equally selfish in this aspect. He’s not telling us we can’t get angry about things that other people have done. He’s just saying, they didn’t mean to hurt you, and it’s a pretty poor way to spend time thinking that they did.
Blessings to you!